I came across this quote this morning, and it got me to thinking. (I know, that can be dangerous!)
"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence."
I like this quote and believe we WILL incur our own abhorrence if we don’t stay true to ourselves. I believe the reason we wouldn’t stay true to ourselves is really more selfish than staying true to ourselves anyway. It all goes back to that ‘people pleasing’ thing. In trying to make others like us and think well of us, we try to figure out what they would like or what would please them, and then we try to be that or say that, while we are around them. And we convince ourselves that this is a selfless and kind thing to do. But is it really, or is it just our coveting their favor? In doing this, we begin to loose ourselves, and as we loose ourselves, we resent the person we deem responsible for this. And who would that person be? None other than the person we are trying to please in the first place. But who is really responsible? WE are. For selfishly giving ourselves away in order to purchase their favor. (Most of the time, we don’t even gain their favor by doing this anyway. People just seem to be more drawn to TRUE people.) Now is that to say we should never do or say anything nice to others? Heavens NO! But we just should do it expecting nothing in return, do it because we care for them and want to see them happy, or simply because it’s the right thing to do. If those aren’t our motives, then perhaps we shouldn’t do it at all. –--Anyway, when we give ourselves away and are not true to ourselves, we begin to abhor ourselves, and when we abhor ourselves, how can we even be very pleasant to be around anyway? Kind of a vicious circle!
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't." Eleanor Roosevelt
Today's page in 'One Day At A Time':
If I can see myself clearly and honestly in relation to my present circumstances, I will not become the victim of self-pity or resentment. If I do what I should, I will be at peace with myself.
It is only when I compare my lot in life with that of others that the destructive emotion of self-pity is allowed to engulf me. It is only by taking offense at what others do that I will be afflicted with resentment. If I feel that what I am doing is right, I will not be dependent on the admiration or applause of others. It is gratifying, but not essential to my contentment.
I will learn to judge my own motives, to evaluate my own actions, so that, little by little, I can bring them into line with my standards and ideals.
Nothing has the power to hurt my feelings and stir up unwholesome emtions in me unless I allow it. I will do what is given me to do. I will do it as well as I can. That will be my inner security against which all outside battering will be powerless.