Today Bo & I were on our way to eat lunch and passed by the old street I used to live on. There were lots of cars parked on the street and mostly in front of my old house. I wondered what was going on, but didn't give it much thought. We went on and ate and came back home. Later I was out on the back porch reading the paper and saw that they were having an estate sale at my old house. It's not very far from us, so I decided to hop in the car and go take a look, just to walk thru and look at the house. It's been 14 years since I lived there with two of my boys, Cody & Adam. In fact, it's the house we lived in when Adam died, the last house on earth he had his own bedroom, where he played out in the yard, and walked thru the last days of his life, so it is a special place to me.
I parked the car and walked inside the house. I felt somewhat overwhelmed. I went into Adam's bedroom and remembered him being there. I thought about cooking supper in the kitchen and Adam sitting at the bar talking to me. I walked out in the backyard and thought about Cody & Adam playing kickball there and basketball in the driveway. What a sweet and wonderful time in my life. I wish I had known then how special it really was and appreciated it more. I had no idea that Adam would be gone one day and I could no longer see him and talk to him. Sometimes my heart just aches for him.
As I was in the house, I tried to look at the 'things' that were for sale there, but it was odd, I just couldn't focus on them. I stood in each room and took in the old familiar feelings the memories brought back. It was refreshing in a way, but oh so sad, too.
What I wouldn't give just to spend a few minutes with my Adam again. Sometimes I wonder why the Lord took him at such a young age. I know though that the Lord knows best. He is in complete control and nothing happens outside of his direction. What a wonderful blessing that Adam was with me for 11 years. Thank you Lord.