Friday, December 21, 2007

I talked to my mother tonight. 'It won't be long now, Honey,' she told me. 'But I feel so loved, so many people have shown me such love. I'm not afraid. Don't worry about me. I love you and I know you love me.' Oh, this alarms me. I believe people have a sense of when they are about to die. My son, Adam said to the nurse on the day he died, 'Am I going to die today? Please don't let me die today.'

Living in the world without my mother in it seems strange to me. She has always been here on earth, while I have been here. Even though I live far away from her and don't talk to her everyday, she is just here, and I know she's here. To not be able to pick up the phone and talk to her just seems weird. Oh my. --I know it will be OK. I know this is just part of life, loosing a parent. I am blessed to have had her this long, but this feels strange, unfamiliar, unsettling.

1 comment:

eileen~ said...

I will pray for you and your mother Carol. It certainly is one of the hardest things we do in life, lose our mother's.

The familiar warmth of her lap, the joy of her voice and the knowledge that here is one who loves you unfailingly and without heistation.

May God Bless you and your mother during this time and comfort you.