Regrets, Responsibility & God's Sovereignty

Something I have been thinking about today is regrets. Do you have any? I do, but I also believe that all things are predestined to be just as they are, so then how do I reconcile the two, regrets and predestination? Why would I regret something if it happened just as God predestined it to happen? And I know that God always knows best.

The Apostle Paul went about killing christians before his eyes were opened to see the Lord Jesus. Surely he had regrets about that and the people he influenced. You could say maybe he reconciled his regrets by knowing that the christians just went home to be with the Lord (and they did, I believe), but what of the left behind family members? What about children that lost parents because of Paul's destruction and then grew up and never came to know Christ because they didn't have that parent around to instruct them. Maybe I'm reaching a little bit here, but that sounds like a reasonable regret for Paul to have to me, .....even though it was the Lord's will.

This is somewhat like the correlation of reconciling God's sovereignty with our responsibility. We are responsible, yet God is sovereign over all things. This has always puzzled me a bit, even though I believe both are true. It can seem to make sense that if we are responsible, we then must be free. Vincent Cheung, a man that I like to read sometimes, says we are responsible because God is sovereign, NOT because we are free.

This is an interesting quote from Vincent Cheung in his article 'The Author of Sin':

Moral responsibility (or accountability) has to do with whether God has decided to judge us; it has no direct relationship with whether we are free. In fact, if we were free from God but not judged by God, then we would still not be morally responsible (or accountable). In other words, moral responsibility does not presuppose human freedom, but it presupposes divine sovereignty. We are responsible not because we are free, but we are responsible precisely because we are not free.

I have to read that a few times to rap my brain around it, but it helps me to understand. We are responsible because God says we are, like it or not. God can do whatever he wants to do. He is the creator and we are his creatures.

Romans 9:17-21 says:
For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will [have mercy], and whom he will he hardeneth. Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed [it], Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour?

Oh, may he be pleased to have mercy on me.

Three Boys & A Dog

Today Corbin & his friends, Lam & Quan came over for the afternoon. I just had the best time having them here. It was a gorgeous day and we stayed out in the backyard the whole time.

It got to be about 7:00 pm and I said, Well, I guess I better take you boys home.' One of the twins said, 'Oh do we have to? It's just so comfortable here.' LOL. So cute.

Lilly is worn out tonight. They kept her hopping. (literally).

Grandkids are so fun.

My Morning Coffee Thoughts

My sister gave me this cup a couple of months ago. It says Granna on it because that's my 'Grandma name.' I drink my coffee from it most mornings and I like alot. I like it because it's easy to drink from and has a nice handle to hold on to, but mostly I like it because while I'm drinking from it, I always think about two people that mean so much to me: Mary Ellen, who gave it to me, and Corbin, my grandson.

Mary Ellen is such a kind and thoughtful sister. She is a good friend and she makes me feel loved and cared about. I appreciate that so much, and Corbin, well, he's my most favorite grandson in the whole world!

Just thought I'd share that this morning, as I sit here drinking my coffee from my special cup. Have a great day!

Clarification

OK, you know in my last post when I said: I went to the gym and walked 3 miles on the treadmill at 6.6 miles an hour and worked out some on the other equipment, and as I was leaving, I noticed that I didn't feel tired at all and kept wondering if the treadmill pedometer was right.

Well, I've been to the gym twice since then and I now know that the treadmill pedometer WASN'T right. I didn't walk 3 miles at 6.6 miles per hour. For one thing, I wouldn't be able to WALK 6.6 miles an hour. The treadmill would be going too fast to WALK. I would have to RUN at that speed. LOL. I probably walked like 2 miles at 4.5 miles an hour that day.

I knew that was just too easy, too good to be true. But...... what I said after that is still true. I was and am still feeling very good, lots of energy and in a very good, optimistic mood, and I'm loving that.

I have been dieting since Tuesday, eating around 1,000 calories a day. I know what most will say, .....why are YOU dieting?? I am pretty thin, but I have gained 5 lbs since Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I think if I don't do something about it now, it will slowly begin to creep up again, then before you know it, I'll have 20 lbs to loose. I lost 20 lbs about 5 years ago and have worked hard to keep it off. It really does take a life change to loose weight and KEEP IT OFF. You can't just diet, loose the weight, then go right back to eating the same old way, I have found out, .....much to my chagrin because I LOVE to eat, and my downfall is chocolate and sweets. I love, love, love sweets.

Anyway, I was reading that antioxidants are such good anti-aging foods, so I have been trying to eat alot of them this week (since I AM beginning to get up there in years). I've been eating lots of sweet potatoes, broccoli, tomatoes & blueberries, and avocados. Plus I have not had a Diet Dr Pepper since Monday, and I've been drinking lots of water. Today I noticed that I had alot of energy and really felt good. I can't remember a time that I have actually noticed feeling much better while eating certain things, but I have to say that today I did notice that. I went to the gym and walked 3 miles on the treadmill at 6.6 miles an hour and worked out some on the other equipment, and as I was leaving, I noticed that I didn't feel tired at all and kept wondering if the treadmill pedometer was right.

I just wonder, could it be the foods high in antioxidants causing me to feel so good today? (I really didn't feel bad to begin with). Or is it giving up the Diet Dr Pepper's, or drinking alot of water? (I can't say that is a permanent thing. I like my Diet Dr. Peppers). Or is it just in my head?? I don't know, but hopefully I can continue with my good diet and keep feeling this good!

It ain't easy to eat 1,000 calories a day. Ugh. I'm hungry alot, but I keep telling myself that when I do eat normally again, I get to almost double that. Yea!

Wierd

I went to Walmart a little while ago, and as I was walking in, a man was coming out. He had a big black smudge of what looked like grease smeared across his forehead. I thought mmm, maybe he has been working on his car or something. No big deal.

About 15 minutes later on the soft drink isle, there was a very pregnant lady standing there looking at drinks. She looked up at me, and she had a big black smudge of something on HER forehead. I stood there for a few seconds looking at her just to make sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing. ---Yep, a big black smudge. I started to say something to her about it, but decided against it.

As I got to the end of the isle, I kid you not, there was an older man with a big black smudge on his forehead. Now this is weird, I thought. Each of these people appeared to be all alone and I don't think had any connection with each other.

I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone or something.




POST SCRIPT: OK. Sister Mary just informed me that today is Ash Wednesday and some religious people mark their foreheads with ashes to show penitence before God.

Uh-huh. I bet God is REALLY impressed with that. LOL.

Bo & I took Corbin and his two friends to Palo Duro Canyon today, and we all walked the 6 mile round trip to the Lighthouse.

No, you're not seeing double. The friends are twins. Two little boys whose parents are from Vietnam. Their names are Lam & Quan, and they are very sweet, inquisitive and fun little guys, and of course, my Corbin is also. We had a great time hiking along and visiting with these guys. I could not tell the twins apart and so every time I needed to get the attention of one of them, I would call out Lam-Quan!, and they would both turn around. I never did figure out how to tell them apart.















We were all so tired at the end and so glad to see the truck again and get some water to drink.

Then on the way home I turned around and this is what I saw in the back seat.


That's about how I feel myself tonight, ----along with a few sore muscles.

Nothing Much

Today was such a gorgeous day here in the Texas Panhandle. It was sunny, 60 degrees and virtually no wind. YeeHaw! Days with no wind are few and far between around here, so I get pretty excited when we have one, especially in the dead of winter. Lilly & I went for a 3.5 mile walk around the neighborhood. I'm trying to teach her to HEAL. She is a strong headed little booger, but she is learning. I read that when you let dogs run out in front of you on a walk, they begin to think that THEY are the leader of the pack and you are the follower. They need to know that you are the boss and are in charge. So that's what I am working on. Letting Lilly know that she's not the boss.

After our walk, I went to the mall and walked around for a while, then bought some coffee and just sat and watched people. People are funny, your know. It was a nice afternoon.

Yesterday I was pulling out of the driveway for work when I realized I forgot something in the house. I hit the garage door remote and stopped the garage door from going all the way down. It stopped at about my eye level and I jumped out of the car and proceeded to RUN towards the back door. There was only one problem..... I forgot to duck under the garage door as I ran in. Boom! I hit the door with the left side of my FACE! Owwwww. That really hurt. It took a couple of seconds for me to get my bearings and figure out what a DUMB thing I did. Today I have a big knot on my forehead and red spot under my eye. Good grief. I amaze myself sometimes with my own stupidity.

Lilly, the Attack Dog

Confessing our Sinfulness

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us (our) sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

I used to read this verse and wonder how I could possibly confess or name all my sins to God. I sure can't remember them all, and don't even think about so many of them as sins, even though they are.

Also I have read this verse and others and wondered: ' I thought my sins were already forgiven at the cross, why am I to name them each day and ask for forgiveness again. '

Well, I now think that what this verse is talking about is professing and acknowledging always that I AM a sinner, and am in need of a Saviour. --Agreeing with God that I am sinful. Alot of times that will entail naming particular sins just because I am burdened with them and sorry for them and naming them is part of agreeing with God of just how sinful I am. But I do not have to worry about naming every sin everyday in order to have them forgiven. All my sins are already forgiven at the cross.

AND I think this verse is essentially saying that all those that do truly see their sinful condition and their great need of a Saviour already ARE forgiven. The confession (or agreeing with God) is the evidence of salvation, not the cause of it.

It is true, if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. It's just that we won't confess or look at just how sinful we are, unless we are one of his. And if we are one of his, we definitely will confess our sinfulness.

I think that anybody that believes they can in any way contribute to their own salvation really cannot see just how sinful they are. If they could, they would know that all of our righteousnesses are as filthy rags. No work we can do could possibly make God look favorably upon us. --Only the work that Christ has done. So..... I think the verse is saying: if we agree with God that all our deeds truly are sinful, we will know that we can do nothing to attain salvation and therefore know that only thru Christ can we be saved, and when we know this (thru the Holy Spirit's revelation), we know that we are forgiven and cleansed from all unrighteousness.

Hope my jibberish makes some kind of sense. And I pray the Lord will teach me and show me the truth, if that isn't it. ...........Goodnight.

Lilly Bug

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Where is your Assurance?

Do you believe you know Christ and you will go to be with him in heaven when you die? If your answer is yes, why do you believe this is so? Why do you believe you will go to heaven? Would your answer be that you prayed a prayer one time and you are resting on that act as your assurance? That used to be my answer to that question. When I would have doubts I would actually recall to mind the time that I prayed a prayer asking for Jesus to come into my heart, and I would feel better. I would feel assured that I was a christian. So many men told me that I could do that.

I believed that Christ died for all men, but his death on the cross wasn't enough. Something must be added to it. That something was me praying that prayer, me making a decision to accept him. I thought I had to DO something to make Christ's death effectual. I know now that that is such a lie. Christ's death was completely effectual. Absolutely nothing needs to be added to it. Every single person he died for WILL go to heaven.

And I believe that when a person is relying on that prayer, that decision, that profession, the Lord hasn't truly revealed himself to them. They don't truly know him. That's not to say that they never will. I don't know who the elect are. But I believe that if you are relying on ANYTHING but Christ alone, then you don't truly know him. I didn't truly know him for many years and I believed I did. Sometimes though, even now, I wonder if I truly know him. I believe that he died on the cross to pay for the sins of his people and that every one he died for will go to heaven, but sometimes I wonder if I am one of those people. Oh, I sure hope so. I know that my only hope is in Christ. If he sees fit to have mercy on me, if he died for me, I am one of his. I think that his revealing this knowledge to me lets me know that I am one of his. But sometimes I have doubts. I am such a sinful creature. It's when I take my eyes off Christ and look at my sin that I doubt. I know his death is completely sufficient to cover all my sin. I must just keep looking to Christ for my assurance. He is my only hope, and your only hope too.

I do know that salvation is in a person, not in an act. Praise the name of the Lord!

Today Uncle John died. He is Bo's uncle on his mother's side. He lived alone in Gruver, the town where Bo works and his extended family lives. Uncle John's wife died 11 or 12 years ago. I met her just a few times before she died. Uncle John had a stroke 15 or 20 years ago and had no use of one side of his body. His wife took good care of him while she was alive and everyone thought he wouldn't survive without her, but he did. He learned to take care of himself, but it was a struggle for him everyday. He was such a kind man, very friendly and thoughtful of others, never complaining of all his struggles.

Today a Meals-On-Wheels lady went to his house to take him lunch. He never came to the door, so she called Corky, Bo's dad. Corky went over to check on him and found his body still in his bed, but his spirit was no longer with us. We're so glad that he seems to have gone in a peaceful way, but sad that he's gone.

Bo, Jocelyne, & I took him lunch on Christmas Eve and visited with him for a little while. That's the last time we saw him. Bo has always been close to him, visits him regularly, and I know will miss him greatly. I will miss his smiling face too.

Goodbye Uncle Johnny! We are so glad to have known you.

The Last Day of the Year

Today was a busy day. It started out with plumbing problems at my house. The bathtub would hardly drain and the toilet backed up into the shower, so that was nice. (NOT!) Today was the day for my ladies to come clean so I thought I was going to have to call them and cancel and I wasn't happy about that, because my house was pretty dirty after all the cooking and extra folks around during the holidays, (which I loved having by the way). I got on the phone at 7:30 this morning and called Scottco, and wow! were they fast. They were at my house by 8:15 and had everything flowing again by 8:45. The ladies came about 10:00 and I left for work. I stayed there until 4:30 and got ALOT done because I was the only one there, which was nice for being productive. I came home and my house looked bea-u-tiful and that makes me feel happy and carefree (for a little while anyway). Then another guy from Scottco came over and ran a camera thru our pipes. I stood out in the cold and watched the little screen as the camera went thru. ......Very interesting stuff. Never seen anything quite like it before. The guy said it all looked good, and we are guaranteed a year's worth of 'no stop-ups.' That's nice. After that I ran to Walmart for a few things.

Tonight I am just sitting in my chair enjoying the quiet. Mason is watching a John Wayne movie he rented and Bo isn't home from work yet. Lilly is being a good little girl and taking a nap.

That's it for me. Happy New Year to You!

Oh, and Happy Birthday to Jenny, my sweet daughter-in-law.

Adam Wayne was born 26 years ago today. What a wonderful blessing from God!

Bo & I made a quick trip to Tyler on Thursday and got back today (Saturday). We spent most of the day on Friday visiting my Mama. She was doing pretty good that day and we enjoyed the visit very much. We also went over to visit Daddy & Dorothy. They were doing good and we enjoyed seeing them too.

We stayed with sister Mary & John. They put us up in their 5th wheel out beside their house. It was very comfortable and we are very appreciative of their hospitality. --Although I think they were ready to get rid of us this morning and John snuck out and turned the water off. Last time I was there, I think he snuck out and turned off the heat. LOL.

We went out to eat at Red Lobster on Friday night with sister Mary & John, sister Glenda & Rudy, Michael, Kelly & Caleb, and Whitney and her friend, Cindy. It was good food and good fellowship.

Michael is home on leave from the Marines and wow, he sure is all muscled up. I almost didn't recognize him, bulging out of his shirt like that!

He's a sweetie, and it was so good to see him, and everybody else too.








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My Christmas Present from Cody, Jenny & Corbin

I just love my new bench for the backyard!







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Merry Christmas!

We have had a great time at our house this Holiday season. On Sunday night all the kids were over for our Christmas family gathering. We had a good meal and really enjoyed the time together. (At least Bo & I did) Mason made the broccoli & rice casserole, and Jocelyne made the sweet potato souffle'. I did the rest and it all turned out great, I thought. After eating, we opened gifts and just visited for a while.




Here's the kid's annual Christmas picture. Aren't they a good looking bunch?









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I talked to my mother tonight. 'It won't be long now, Honey,' she told me. 'But I feel so loved, so many people have shown me such love. I'm not afraid. Don't worry about me. I love you and I know you love me.' Oh, this alarms me. I believe people have a sense of when they are about to die. My son, Adam said to the nurse on the day he died, 'Am I going to die today? Please don't let me die today.'

Living in the world without my mother in it seems strange to me. She has always been here on earth, while I have been here. Even though I live far away from her and don't talk to her everyday, she is just here, and I know she's here. To not be able to pick up the phone and talk to her just seems weird. Oh my. --I know it will be OK. I know this is just part of life, loosing a parent. I am blessed to have had her this long, but this feels strange, unfamiliar, unsettling.

One Step Forward (Finally), Then One Step Back

Bo & I have been working hard to get Lilly housebroken. We take her outside ALOT and she will go, but she will go in the house too. Bo installed a doggie door for her and she goes outside sometimes by herself, but never to relieve herself. She only does that if we are with her. But today she went outside all by herself and pooped, then came back in. Yea!! I was so excited. (I was watching out the window). I gave her lots of praise and a treat. I was so happy, then in a few minutes, .........she peed in the floor.

Gosh, housebreaking a dog is hard.

The Letter Came Today!

Good News! He made it into the Program. Yea! I'm so proud of Mason. He has worked hard and it is paying off. He's got a lot of studying ahead of him, but I know he can do it. He will start back to school on January 14th, so he has a whole month off to rest up and get ready.

Way to go, Mason!